Tomorrow we begin week 13 and baby D is the size of a peach (and just as sweet, awwww). The first observation isn't exactly earth shattering stuff, but my nails, which have always grown relatively fast and been pretty thick now grow overnight and just about require doggy clippers to trim. Talk about your strong thick nails!
Second, even though you get to bypass the monthly female gift while pregnant you (or at least I) do NOT get to bypass the cramps. Actually, the cramps are ramped up to make sure you don't forget what they feel like. It's a different kind of "pain" but for a while there I was pretty much double over for at least a few minutes every night. I talked to the doctor and she said as long as there was no spotting it could be GI issues (pleasant) or things "stretching and growing". Hopefully I'm absorbing all of the growing pains for now but it is truly amazing how my body can facilitate creating a fully functional human body starting with a few cells.
After writing that last sentence it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm tired. All the "experts" say that you should start regaining your energy at the end of the 1st trimester but I seem to be moving backward. I had some tired days in the past 2 months, but the past few days I've felt like I am made of lead. My eyes simply won't open before 8:30 and I sort of shuffle from place to place like an old person (no offense shufflers ;-) Also, my legs feel tired and sore after walking up the stairs. People, we live in a two story house, not on the 20th floor of a NY apartment building. There is no excuse for sore legs after one flight. Let's pull it together!
Fourth, my emotions are running wild from time to time. I was talking to my dad yesterday trying to tell him about something that was bugging me (work related, really not a big deal) and he started laughing at me. I almost started crying (way to go Willie). The lesson here is don't laugh at me unless I say something funny and it's obvious that I MEANT to be funny. Otherwise I might cry or, even more unfortunate for you, bite your head right off your shoulders.
Fifth, it really is possible to start looking pregnant overnight. Last Saturday we had a cookout and I ate way too much. The next day I looked 2 months further along than I had the day before (this was confirmed by Jill, who didn't believe me until I lifted my shirt, to which she said, "Ohhh, yeah, you do!"). Since that day it looks like every time I eat I simultaneously swallow an over sized tennis ball. It ebbs and flows but I think it's a matter of days before it pops out for good :)
Finally, I'm pretty sure that every woman in the surrounding area is pregnant. I do think I tended to notice pregnant people more while we were going through our issues (bump envy is REAL) than before we started trying but now they are EVERYWHERE. Guess that's like the phenomenon that you've never seen a car like that until you start driving it.
My eyes are starting to droop so I'm going to bed but I'll try to notice things that are more interesting in the next few weeks. Have a good weekend!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Appointment # 2
Just got back from my 2nd appointment. First appointment on 5/5 was just a nurse's visit (including that wonderful ultrasound) - this appointment was actually with one of the doctors. Everything I read said that it would be the longest and most comprehensive visit...if that is true then I should be in and out in about 15 minutes from here on out because I was there for about 50 minutes total including checking in and checking out. Everything looks great and I heard the heartbeat again. It's amazing how reassuring that is. It took her a second to find it and in that second my heart felt like it sank to the floor. I guess I'm still just waiting for bad news. Hopefully that will go away. I have read that it's normal even for people who get pregnant the regular way but it's very heightened for people who've dealt with infertility, which makes sense for obvious reasons. Heartbeat last time was 190 BPM and it was between 150-160 BPM today. As the heart grows it doesn't have to beat as fast! According to the old wives tale a heart rate in that range is a girl but because I'm a researcher I've already concluded that there isn't not really any evidence proving that theory. If you think about it, the odds are 50/50 anyway so every theory is bound to be right about half the time :-)
My next appointment is June 27th and THEN July 12th is the day we are ALL waiting for! The anatomy ultrasound! That is code for finding out if it's a boy or a girl. So so stoked for that but there are lots of exciting milestones in the 6 weeks between now and then and I have to remember to take things one day at a time and enjoy it! :)
My next appointment is June 27th and THEN July 12th is the day we are ALL waiting for! The anatomy ultrasound! That is code for finding out if it's a boy or a girl. So so stoked for that but there are lots of exciting milestones in the 6 weeks between now and then and I have to remember to take things one day at a time and enjoy it! :)
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Destination Maternity
Why oh why you may ask am I gracing a maternity store with my presence at only 12 weeks?? To be blunt, I had enough trouble properly containing the twins (no boys, we are not HAVING twins...it might actually be best for you to skip this post and catch back up with me next time :) pre-pregnancy. Now, yikes. Before you "smaller" girls start telling me to enjoy it because you would kill for it I'd suggest you walk a mile in my streched out shirts. I guess the grass truly is always greener...
Anyway, I've never been happier to have my mom, Jill and Jordan. They came with me and after some measuring I was in a dressing room trying on all shapes and types. I HATE shopping. I hate looking, trying on, picking out and just the whole general experience. They do not. They are great at shopping. And they kept me sane today. They told me what looked right and what didn't and they even picked out some shirts for me to try on. Christa also helped by running in and out of the dressing room curtain pointing to my belly saying "baby" in her language and giving a few shoppers a quick glimpse at my finds. We found 2 bras that worked and a t-shirt that has scrunchy sides so it will fit me now and as the belly grows. Mom bought me 2 for my birthday (thanks mom!). Sidenote: that's how I roll...find something that fits and buy it in lots of colors.
So, yay for that and yay for them. I will admit there was some cute stuff in there but I have a hard time with the idea of spending that much (or anything really) on clothes I'll wear for such a short amount of time. We'll see how that shakes out, but the Hull women will definitely be there if I go back.
Anyway, I've never been happier to have my mom, Jill and Jordan. They came with me and after some measuring I was in a dressing room trying on all shapes and types. I HATE shopping. I hate looking, trying on, picking out and just the whole general experience. They do not. They are great at shopping. And they kept me sane today. They told me what looked right and what didn't and they even picked out some shirts for me to try on. Christa also helped by running in and out of the dressing room curtain pointing to my belly saying "baby" in her language and giving a few shoppers a quick glimpse at my finds. We found 2 bras that worked and a t-shirt that has scrunchy sides so it will fit me now and as the belly grows. Mom bought me 2 for my birthday (thanks mom!). Sidenote: that's how I roll...find something that fits and buy it in lots of colors.
So, yay for that and yay for them. I will admit there was some cute stuff in there but I have a hard time with the idea of spending that much (or anything really) on clothes I'll wear for such a short amount of time. We'll see how that shakes out, but the Hull women will definitely be there if I go back.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The awkward stage
I thought for sure after the horrendous awkward stage I went through from about 10 'til about 17 (man, that's a long time to be awkward) that I was in the clear and wouldn't have to deal with any more awkward stages...at least physically. Unfortunately no one told me that the beginning of pregnancy is equipped with a lovely awkward stage of its own. And honestly, I'm a little surprised and disappointed in myself and my handling of the situation. So what is it??
I don't look pregnant. I do look like I hung around just a bit too long at the open refrigerator AND the drive thru AND the Golden Corral buffet. All in the same night. To make matters worse I've always worn pretty form fitting shirts because I'm disproportional and clothes aren't made for me (that's a sob story all its own). So my belly is even more noticeable. I deem this stage the "is she fat or is she pregnant?" stage. And I'm not a fan. Once it's obvious I'm pregnant I'll be fine. I wish I could just embrace what is happening and be super thankful that it's finally here but instead I'm worrying about what people think when they look at me. I am acutely aware that 99.9% of people who see me aren't paying nearly enough attention to notice. But I notice and it's bugging me. So please, can we zoom through this "is she fat or is she pregnant" and get to the "oh, she's definitely pregnant"? Either that or I'm going to start wearing a sign pointing to my belly that says "I'm pregnant." Or I could just walk around with "baby on board" written across my stomach because that's not awkward at all. I'll feel better when we move on. Which is stupid, but I will. :-P Anyone else go through this stage???
I don't look pregnant. I do look like I hung around just a bit too long at the open refrigerator AND the drive thru AND the Golden Corral buffet. All in the same night. To make matters worse I've always worn pretty form fitting shirts because I'm disproportional and clothes aren't made for me (that's a sob story all its own). So my belly is even more noticeable. I deem this stage the "is she fat or is she pregnant?" stage. And I'm not a fan. Once it's obvious I'm pregnant I'll be fine. I wish I could just embrace what is happening and be super thankful that it's finally here but instead I'm worrying about what people think when they look at me. I am acutely aware that 99.9% of people who see me aren't paying nearly enough attention to notice. But I notice and it's bugging me. So please, can we zoom through this "is she fat or is she pregnant" and get to the "oh, she's definitely pregnant"? Either that or I'm going to start wearing a sign pointing to my belly that says "I'm pregnant." Or I could just walk around with "baby on board" written across my stomach because that's not awkward at all. I'll feel better when we move on. Which is stupid, but I will. :-P Anyone else go through this stage???
Monday, May 23, 2011
Amazed
I am so amazed and truly grateful of the outpouring of support we received when we "went public" yesterday! To know that so many people have been praying for us and cheering for us for so long is hard to comprehend. Thank you so much. Know that prayers were heard - and not just because we're pregnant now. Throughout the whole process at times where I was the most down and unsure that I could continue walking the uncertain path of infertility I would feel a sense of calm.
When we were waiting for the results of this attempt we actually took a pregnancy test on March 31st. It was on the cusp of being too early to know, but I felt sure that we'd get the correct result. The test was negative. James asked me if I was okay and when I told him I was I really really meant it. This time was different and the negative test didn't feel like the end of the world. I knew we would try again next month and keep trying until we got the result we wanted. That whole day I was fine. I felt so different from all of the other "negative" test days. So the next day I was about to call to schedule our appointment for the next month and I got a strong sense that I needed to test again. It was the middle of the day on a Friday and I was slightly annoyed. This is a waste of time and money but fine, I'll test again, watch it turn negative and THEN call. So I came upstairs and very quickly as I was watching it develop (I didn't feel the need to waste the whole 3-5 minutes) it started looking like TWO lines. Obviously two lines. I ran out of the bathroom and started pacing up and down the hallway. Literally talking to myself..."Oh my gosh. What do I do? That can't be right! James is going to KILL me for doing this without him!" Went back in 3 minutes later to a test that was as positive as I was shocked. I drove to James' work immediately and handed him the test. "Pregnant??!" and then "YOU TOOK IT WITHOUT ME?!' Oops :-) We were excited but also extremely skeptical and went to the dollar store the next day to buy 5 more. (Excessive? Yes, but one can never see a positive test too many times when you've seen a bazillion negatives!) We took one we still had the next morning (before the Dollar Store venture) and got a much fainter positive. But the Dollar Store test later in the day was truly positive. So were the next 4 we took while on vacation in Jamaica and shortly after coming home :) We got to tell my parents the day after we found out which is a story for another post, but it was awesome.
So apparently I just needed to accept that what will be will be. As soon as I did that - voila! As an added jab, I have ALWAYS been dead set against having a baby in November or December. I felt his/her birthday would get lost in the craziness of the holidays and because birthdays are so special to me I was not happy about that thought. We are due December 10th. How's that for an in-your-face message? HEY JAYME-it's not up to you. It's not your time, it's Mine. And every year when we deliberately celebrate this child's birthday I'll be reminded that it's not up to me. It's not my time, it's His. And you know what, it's probably better that way! :-)
When we were waiting for the results of this attempt we actually took a pregnancy test on March 31st. It was on the cusp of being too early to know, but I felt sure that we'd get the correct result. The test was negative. James asked me if I was okay and when I told him I was I really really meant it. This time was different and the negative test didn't feel like the end of the world. I knew we would try again next month and keep trying until we got the result we wanted. That whole day I was fine. I felt so different from all of the other "negative" test days. So the next day I was about to call to schedule our appointment for the next month and I got a strong sense that I needed to test again. It was the middle of the day on a Friday and I was slightly annoyed. This is a waste of time and money but fine, I'll test again, watch it turn negative and THEN call. So I came upstairs and very quickly as I was watching it develop (I didn't feel the need to waste the whole 3-5 minutes) it started looking like TWO lines. Obviously two lines. I ran out of the bathroom and started pacing up and down the hallway. Literally talking to myself..."Oh my gosh. What do I do? That can't be right! James is going to KILL me for doing this without him!" Went back in 3 minutes later to a test that was as positive as I was shocked. I drove to James' work immediately and handed him the test. "Pregnant??!" and then "YOU TOOK IT WITHOUT ME?!' Oops :-) We were excited but also extremely skeptical and went to the dollar store the next day to buy 5 more. (Excessive? Yes, but one can never see a positive test too many times when you've seen a bazillion negatives!) We took one we still had the next morning (before the Dollar Store venture) and got a much fainter positive. But the Dollar Store test later in the day was truly positive. So were the next 4 we took while on vacation in Jamaica and shortly after coming home :) We got to tell my parents the day after we found out which is a story for another post, but it was awesome.
So apparently I just needed to accept that what will be will be. As soon as I did that - voila! As an added jab, I have ALWAYS been dead set against having a baby in November or December. I felt his/her birthday would get lost in the craziness of the holidays and because birthdays are so special to me I was not happy about that thought. We are due December 10th. How's that for an in-your-face message? HEY JAYME-it's not up to you. It's not your time, it's Mine. And every year when we deliberately celebrate this child's birthday I'll be reminded that it's not up to me. It's not my time, it's His. And you know what, it's probably better that way! :-)
Friday, May 20, 2011
Birthday weekend, the end of the world, mac & cheese and my first negative reaction
Eventually I will learn to visit and post more often so I don't have to cover so much at a time! :-) I am SO stoked about this weekend! James and I are going to the Flying Biscuit for breakfast tomorrow and then meeting some people at the Got to Be NC festival later in the day. We are also buying ourselves a joint birthday grill - yay! Sunday we'll have lunch with life group friends at a really cool local restaurant called Tribeca Tavern (hooray for free birthday entrees!) and then head out to the lake on a friend's boat. All in all it should be a glorious weekend. On top of THAT this weekend is our official public "WE'RE PREGNANT" announcement! My dad (and Jordan) helped me take a cool picture that I plan to post on Facebook on my birthday as my way of telling the world (or at least my FB world). I think I'm more excited for that than for my birthday. I think letting the world know will make it feel more real. We're in week 11 people!
I feel like I can't move past the excitement of this weekend without acknowledging that a bunch of loons (yes, I was taught that name calling isn't nice, but COME ON) have decided that the rapture will take place Saturday and Jesus will return to take us with Him. Side note, there was a very awesome and memorable sermon at our church less than a year ago about how it seems to be relatively clear that when Jesus returns he will be leaving the Christians on Earth and taking the non-believers away. So, either way I still plan to be here come Sunday :) That being said, I don't think any human can or should know the date and time of the 2nd coming. That's insane. Stop wasting your time (and everyone else's) pretending to crunch numbers and mysterious facts and figures and essentially scaring a lot of people for no reason. And if the purpose of this little "stunt" is to bring more people to know Jesus I'd like to be the first to say (surely not the first) that it is a terrible strategy. So quit ruining what is going to be a glorious weekend.
On to something less heavy...I want mac and cheese. All.the.time. This isn't a huge stretch from the norm as I've always really loved mac and cheese (especially the store brand crap with the package of yellow powder, mmmmmm) but I'd literally gone at least 6 months not even having a box in the house. I love it, but I know I don't need it so I just don't think about it. Until now that is. I had some not too long ago (and before that had some Velveeta shells and cheese) and the 2 boxes in the pantry (I HAD to buy them, don't judge me) are screaming at me (much like those doughnuts) every time I open the door. I've pushed it back several times and even tonight made myself an egg sandwich with turkey bacon and cheese instead. It was good, but as I announced to James, not as good as mac & cheese. The logical and sensible side of me knows it's silly to even think of eating mac & cheese once a week. But the non-logical side is getting louder and louder. The tricky part is I'm not sure if this is genuinely a pregnancy thing or if this is my brain saying, "You are pregnant so no one will argue you with you if you insist on eating mac & cheese at every meal" (See what just happened there? We've already gone from once a week to every meal!). I know some of you are in the "just say no" camp, some are in the "it's okay in moderation" camp and a few of you crazies are probably thinking "just eat it until you get tired of it!". My camp affiliation changes too frequently for me to choose. So for now, I'll keep not eating it until I just can't take it. Which might actually be now - typing about it this much has made it that much more alluring. And I can't believe I wrote that much on mac & cheese so the end.
And to end, I'd like to document my first (and hopefully only) negative reaction. I told one of the furniture delivery guys (know them all quite well-see them out at apartments all the time) that I'm pregnant and his first response was "Well make sure you work out and do a bunch of those leg lifts and stuff so you can get your body back afterward!" Ummmm, thanks for looking out? The he proceeded to explain how kids are just trouble (he did say it could be based somewhat on how they are raised...interesting thought) and no one should have them until they have their life in order and are ready. I assured him that we've been trying for 2 years and are as ready as possible. He says we should have used those two years getting things straight. I had NO idea he knew my life situation so well! When I then told him (again) that we really were going to be fine and that James is older than me so it's really time he countered with "A man should never push a woman into getting pregnant just because he's ready. That doesn't mean she's ready, that's just wrong" I should have said "This conversation is just wrong" but instead I kept my mouth shut and let him talk. I did tell him though that I was in no way pressured and have also been ready for kids for quite a while. It fell on deaf ears I'm sure, but I did say it. In his defense he's always been a speak-before-you-think kind of guy and I know for a fact he meant no harm. Still though, I was mad and worked up for a good 30 minutes after he left. Here's hoping no one else has such a negative reaction!
I feel like I can't move past the excitement of this weekend without acknowledging that a bunch of loons (yes, I was taught that name calling isn't nice, but COME ON) have decided that the rapture will take place Saturday and Jesus will return to take us with Him. Side note, there was a very awesome and memorable sermon at our church less than a year ago about how it seems to be relatively clear that when Jesus returns he will be leaving the Christians on Earth and taking the non-believers away. So, either way I still plan to be here come Sunday :) That being said, I don't think any human can or should know the date and time of the 2nd coming. That's insane. Stop wasting your time (and everyone else's) pretending to crunch numbers and mysterious facts and figures and essentially scaring a lot of people for no reason. And if the purpose of this little "stunt" is to bring more people to know Jesus I'd like to be the first to say (surely not the first) that it is a terrible strategy. So quit ruining what is going to be a glorious weekend.
On to something less heavy...I want mac and cheese. All.the.time. This isn't a huge stretch from the norm as I've always really loved mac and cheese (especially the store brand crap with the package of yellow powder, mmmmmm) but I'd literally gone at least 6 months not even having a box in the house. I love it, but I know I don't need it so I just don't think about it. Until now that is. I had some not too long ago (and before that had some Velveeta shells and cheese) and the 2 boxes in the pantry (I HAD to buy them, don't judge me) are screaming at me (much like those doughnuts) every time I open the door. I've pushed it back several times and even tonight made myself an egg sandwich with turkey bacon and cheese instead. It was good, but as I announced to James, not as good as mac & cheese. The logical and sensible side of me knows it's silly to even think of eating mac & cheese once a week. But the non-logical side is getting louder and louder. The tricky part is I'm not sure if this is genuinely a pregnancy thing or if this is my brain saying, "You are pregnant so no one will argue you with you if you insist on eating mac & cheese at every meal" (See what just happened there? We've already gone from once a week to every meal!). I know some of you are in the "just say no" camp, some are in the "it's okay in moderation" camp and a few of you crazies are probably thinking "just eat it until you get tired of it!". My camp affiliation changes too frequently for me to choose. So for now, I'll keep not eating it until I just can't take it. Which might actually be now - typing about it this much has made it that much more alluring. And I can't believe I wrote that much on mac & cheese so the end.
And to end, I'd like to document my first (and hopefully only) negative reaction. I told one of the furniture delivery guys (know them all quite well-see them out at apartments all the time) that I'm pregnant and his first response was "Well make sure you work out and do a bunch of those leg lifts and stuff so you can get your body back afterward!" Ummmm, thanks for looking out? The he proceeded to explain how kids are just trouble (he did say it could be based somewhat on how they are raised...interesting thought) and no one should have them until they have their life in order and are ready. I assured him that we've been trying for 2 years and are as ready as possible. He says we should have used those two years getting things straight. I had NO idea he knew my life situation so well! When I then told him (again) that we really were going to be fine and that James is older than me so it's really time he countered with "A man should never push a woman into getting pregnant just because he's ready. That doesn't mean she's ready, that's just wrong" I should have said "This conversation is just wrong" but instead I kept my mouth shut and let him talk. I did tell him though that I was in no way pressured and have also been ready for kids for quite a while. It fell on deaf ears I'm sure, but I did say it. In his defense he's always been a speak-before-you-think kind of guy and I know for a fact he meant no harm. Still though, I was mad and worked up for a good 30 minutes after he left. Here's hoping no one else has such a negative reaction!
Monday, May 16, 2011
A weekend of brainstorming progress
I'm writing this post in the middle of the morning on Monday because I can't do anything else until the dumb work computer finishes running a scan to remove the completely awful virus that has taken it over. So, I thought I'd give a brief update. We went to Charlotte this weekend to pre-celebrate Jordan's 21st birthday and also so I could tell several of the women at church whom I've known FOREVER. (That was super fun :) We also sat around the kitchen table (well, we were in the kitchen anyway) looking through baby names. James and I have tossed around some names in the past few weeks but it goes like this: James: "How about _____?" Me: "No way. How about _______?" James: "No way." Awesome progress had been made...progress in the form of realizing that almost all the names that either one of us has liked in the past are NOT HAPPENING. But, we actually managed to come up with a first and middle name for a boy AND a girl this weekend! Only one of each, but before this weekend I was sure there was still going to be arguing going on 5 days after the birth. Dad popped in to endorse James' suggestion of "Harley" (for a boy or a girl) and took it one step further declaring no fewer than 15 times that his vote was "Harley Davidson Driscoll". I've already explained to them both that there is only room for one Harley in this house so unless James is planning on selling the bike we should move on. I have a feeling that regardless of the name we choose dad will call him (or her) Harley Davidson for a least a few months.
Also, we were able to help James understand that having a "theme" in the nursery doesn't mean that the walls will be covered with animal wallpaper (WHO uses wallpaper??) nor will the crib sheets and shelves be covered and filled with bears or birds or giraffes. After showing him some ideas I'd seen and liked I think we both like this idea:
Perhaps not in red because we have a very red bathroom downstairs and the room that will be the nursery is small, but I LOVE the painted "frame" over the crib and the few b&w framed pics. I always figured I'd go with a dark wood crib, but I do love the way this white one looks. Plenty of time to iron out the details, but I'm glad to feel like some progress has been made!
Also, we were able to help James understand that having a "theme" in the nursery doesn't mean that the walls will be covered with animal wallpaper (WHO uses wallpaper??) nor will the crib sheets and shelves be covered and filled with bears or birds or giraffes. After showing him some ideas I'd seen and liked I think we both like this idea:
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