Worrying is what I do. Try as I might I can't turn it off or even turn it down a little bit. I don't just have fleeting thoughts about things like, "Oh, that will be fun" or "Oh, that might be challenging". Once something pops into my head I try to think it through from start to finish. I've noticed myself doing this with the most mundane things like planning out which way to shop at Walmart while on the way (instead of doing fruits and veggies last like we usually do, we should do them first since they are in the front and we are going to have to go to the other side of the store once we get to the back). Or on my way to set ups for work I'll start visualizing the fastest way to get things done (carry this box up, unpack this, bring the beds up, make them etcetc) I think this is precisely why I lose my mind if something doesn't go according to planned. Crazy - yes. But I seriously can't turn it off.
I woke up this morning FREAKED OUT that we're already 14 and a half weeks in. And we have done NOTHING. That leaves us 25 and a half weeks to get completely ready for this baby. On top of that we are being freaking audited and I haven't the slightest clue where to start. It's really stressing me out. James is the perfect partner for me because he is the opposite. His motto is, "It will be fine. It won't take that long." Though I disagree 99% of the time (and whatever it is usually ends up being somewhere in the middle of my expectation and his) it's good to have someone trying to chill me out. However, I feel like some things require a sense of urgency. I have reached that point with baby prep and the audit at the same time (today) and it has sent me into a tizzy. I do know in the back of my mind that everything will be fine and get done. But at this moment I'm trying very hard to talk myself down from WE HAVE SO MUCH TO DO AND NOT ENOUGH TIME AND WHY HAVEN'T WE STARTED?!?!?!?!
The only good thing about this feeling is that it generally launches me into action. So hopefully the next post will be about how much we have accomplished in just a few short days. James, if you're reading this, consider it your warning....the crazy beast has arrived in full force. Love you honey. ;-)
you need to calm down. first of all, 25 weeks is plenty long enough to get ready for baby, especially when everyone else is buying things to spoil him/her rotten. and secondly, all of this stressing isn't good for baby.
ReplyDeletedon't make me lecture you.
you've waited a long time for this experience, don't cheapen it by stressing it all away. live in it. enjoy it. savor it.
besides, what is there to do, really? a shower (or two or four) will come closer to your due date and you'll get more stuff than you know what to do with. that's when i fly out to help you organize. and decorate. because let's face it, i'm a way better decorator than you, dear ;)