Some things I've noticed

We are at 9 weeks 3 days today and my first observation was confirmed in a hilarious book a friend recommended to me called "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicki Iovine (who I found out later is Jimmy Iovine's ex wife....innnnteresting).  Anyway, back to the observation-pregnancy time makes NO sense.  You are "pregnant" 2 weeks before you're actually pregnant which means you are actually only pregnant for about 38 weeks.  Also, week 9 started the 3rd month of my pregnancy according to all of the pregnancy calculations, but it's only been 2 months and 2 days since the day that I was technically pregnant but not actually pregnant until 2 weeks (and 2 days) later.  So I've been REAL pregnant for not even 6 weeks.  Got it????  Yeah, me neither.  So, instead of telling people how many months I am, I'll tell them how many weeks I am, even when I'm up in the 20s and 30s.  Or maybe at that point I'll just tell them how long I have left.  Or, if I don't want to talk to them, I'll launch into this speech about pregnancy timing and they will run away screaming with their fingers in their ears.  Exxxxcellent.
Observation number 2-parts of me that haven't ever been that oily before, and that I'd prefer not be oily could now be classified as oil slicks.  Namely, my hair and face.  I've NEVER washed my hair every day, and to be perfectly honest, will sometimes go 2 or (rarely, but yes, it happens) 3 days between hair washings (don't worry, I still take body showers, chill).  Now after a day (especially if I've straightened it) it's got a not-so-attractive oily shine.  Unfortunately I've never been one to worry about my appearance (hellllo, no grown-up make-up until I was 26) so every other day hair washing will continue until and only if I can no longer take it.  My face at the end of the day is also out of control, but nothing a little Noxzema can't handle.
Observation number 3- even though the little baby blob is only the size of a grape, my body has jumped into super size mode.  My tummy is poking out even though I haven't gained much weight I'm assuming because (boys, look away, girl words to follow) my uterus is huge.  And, I've also read (and whole-heartedly believe) that my digestion has slowed waaaay down so I can get every last nutrient out of everything (including that awesome doughnut I just ate, but more on that later).  Because I eat about 400 times per day, I pretty much have a food baby at all times.  Food baby+grape baby+giant uterus=poking out tummy.  Also, some things that have no business getting any bigger EVER (I'll let you figure that out) are already growing.  Honestly, is that necessary??  I'll end this observation by saying if you're near me, heads up...literally.
Finally, if my husband keeps being so awesome I'll surely weigh 300 pounds by December.  The other day I was saying how I had stopped with a friend who was helping me with work stuff to get a Krispy Kreme doughnut and I REALLY wanted another one.  Well, when awesome hubs stopped at the store on the way home today, he picked up a box of 6 (2 plain, 2 chocolate glazed and 2 choc glazed with sprinkles-because I know you were curious).  I've managed to only eat 1 chocolate glazed and half of a plain (and NOT eat my ice cream tonight) but I can clearly hear them calling me right now.  DOUUUUGHHHHNUTTTSSS - EAAATTTTT DOUUUGHHHNUUTTSS!!  We are about to watch "The Biggest Loser" so I'm hoping they will be the inspiration I need to just say no, but usually I end up in the kitchen about half way through the show because I feel like SOMEONE needs to be eating delicious things and they clearly are not.  I'm sure there are other things I've observed but they aren't coming to mind at the moment so I'll get back to you later.

Mother's Day 0.5

So, I don't feel as though I can fully claim this day - yet.  And honestly, I'm totally fine with that.  Knowing that next mother's day I'll have a (human) teeny tiny to snuggle up with is something that I sometimes thought would never happen.  The past two Mother's Days have been extremely difficult for me...so much so last year that I taught my 4 year olds and then left church instead of going to service.  I didn't feel capable of handling all of the women walking around with roses (being handed out by staff) and little people clinging to them like they were the absolute center of the universe.  It hurt my heart so overwhelmingly.  I'm so grateful to not feel that pain today, but I'm so acutely aware of the many many women who are still feeling that feeling.  Membership to the infertility club requires lots of heartache and pain-but once you're in you have an understanding of that feeling forever.  Honestly right now the tears are flowing for all those waiting.  I can so easily revert to that state of mind but I know because of that my love and appreciation for this baby will be even stronger.
I didn't serve in my regular classroom this morning but instead ended up with the 1st and 2nd graders.  I sat down with some girls making cards for their moms and one girl said, "You get presents today too, right?"  I lit up and told her, "Not this time, but I have a baby in my belly, so I'll get to celebrate soon"  She preceded to say something that vain Jayme just loved...."You don't look pregnant!  We had a friend who was pregnant but we didn't know it for a while because she was skinny too and you couldn't even tell!"  Ohhhhhh sweet Lily!  Yes, I'm only 9 weeks and shouldn't really be showing.  Yes, I'm excited for the bump when the time comes.  But honestly, what girl doesn't like hearing "she was skinny TOO"  :-P  After the class the leader was giving roses to volunteer moms and he doesn't know me that well, so he gave me one and said "for mother's day", really just to cover himself in case I did have kids.  I lit up again.  I headed back to my "regular" wing and saw the director who I have shared the news with.  She got a funny look on her face when she saw the rose and asked, "Does everyone know?!"  Haha - just an accident but a happy one for sure!
I got several sweet texts, calls, FB messages and a card from my mom today and I'm so excited to add the mom club to the list those I have a membership to.  James even bought me tulips :-)  I'm putting in the work now and by next year my membership will include ALL privileges!

Our first family 5K

About 2 months ago I signed myself and James up for a 5K in the neighborhood next to ours.  Let me take a minute now to say that James runs on the treadmill several days a week (at ridiculous speeds, might I add).  I, on the other hand, pretty much hate running.  I ran track in high school and I hated it then, and now my shin splints and my everything else remind me that I hate it now.  I'm definitely an elliptical girl.  However, at the time I signed us up I wasn't pregnant and figured I could suck it up and not be a baby for 3.1 miles.  The trick is, now that I am pregnant I have to keep a close eye on my heart rate and make sure I don't get too out of breath.  So this morning I was feeling pretty good (and competitive- must have rubbed off from James' ultra competitive mood).  I decided I'd run as much as I could.  There were lots of little kids running either by themselves or side by side with their parents who were encouraging them the whole way.  I could just see James and baby Driscoll doing this in several few years.  BONUS-mom will obviously have to be the cheerleader and photographer so I will certainly not be able to participate ;-)  So, we started and I didn't see James again until the end.  I did however, manage to run (ummmm, slowly jog) almost the entire first mile.  My heart rate kind of took off so I had to take a lot of walking breaks, reminding myself that my health is number 1, far ahead of winning anything.  I finished 195 out of 227 (ouch) at just over 38 minutes.  But, I finished and I jogged more than I expected too.  And, I passed this awesome couple in their 60s at the end (really...I couldn't let THEM beat me).  My speed demon husband on the other hand ran it in just over 21 minutes and came in EIGHTH out of 227 and 3rd in his 30-39 age group.  He, in true James fashion, was disappointed.  He got over it when he realized that had he been in the 20-29 age group he would have come in 1st by about 5 minutes.  He is a rock star, especially because he doesn't run outside EVER.  I'm so proud of him!  And I'm proud that our little family completed our first 5K! :)

Cinco de Mayo now holds a special place in our hearts

Today the most AMAZING thing happened!  We got official confirmation that we are indeed the parents of a perfectly sized beautiful blurry blob!  They took us back to the ultrasound room and when I started to explain to James why I was sooooo nervous (beyond my usual, "Ew this is a doctors office and unpleasant things tend to happen here") I teared up.  I still had an icky feeling that she was going to put the wand thing on my belly, move it around for a while with a puzzled look and then say, "Um, I'm not sure why you are here because there is nothing in there!"  A ridiculous feeling to have, but one that I couldn't shake.  Everyone we had seen (or even passed in the hallway) was super friendly up to this point and the lady who came in next was no exception.  She said, "Okay!  Time to see the newest member of your family!"  After less than 5 seconds of moving the wand around she said, "There it is!"  OHHHHHH and there (s)he was!!!!!!!  Tiny tiny, but very baby like.  She then measured and said that I was measuring 8 weeks and 5 days which is SPOT ON based on other dates.  She said, "I can already see you are a perfectionist!" ... Oh ma'am, if you only knew how right you are.  So the perfectionist in me welled with pride-our little kidney bean was already settling for no less :)
The rest of the appointment was short- just a sit down with one of the nurses to go over dos and donts.and what to expect.  I am very happy to report that she told me to expect a 25-35 pound weight gain.  Apparently the new trend is people being told to gain 40 pounds...I'm sorry but that is outrageous.
Just an update on how I'm feeling...MUCH better than Saturday, that's for sure.  And thank God for that!  After Saturday we've just gone back to the few headaches a day with an occasional glimpse of that "green feeling".  But hooray for no barfing! :-)  Thank you all for being so loving and supportive - can't wait to keep sharing the progress and good news with you!

Allow me to preface this with-

-I'm not complaining, just documenting :)  Today was the roughest physical day so far.  Today also happens to be the first day of week 8.  Madigan woke me up and 4:45ish (we are working feverishly to fix this nasty habit) and my tummy was hurting pretty badly.  Got up after 8 and it got progressively worse over the next several hours.  I had some nagging nausea that didn't quite make it to full blown nausea (thank GOODNESS) but I was pretty dizzy and light headed most of the day ERGO I spent most of the day curled up on the couch.  It kind of felt (still kind of does) like I have about 7 bricks piled in my stomach.  Unfortunate because I had big spring cleaning plans for today.  Good thing the dust and laundry and whatnot will still be here tomorrow!  It would be most favorable to me to not have many more days like today, but I am very thankful this happened to fall on a Saturday when laying on the couch and watching "Enchanted" (super cute) was an acceptable way to spend my day.  Little raspberry, I won't hold this against you in the years to come! :)

An ode to my family....

So I've been thinking a lot about me as a mom.  I have given this some thought from time to time in the past 2 years (let's be honest...the past 10 years) but it was too hard to think about for the most part.  I focused more on BECOMING a mom than actually being a mom.  But now, it's time to open up the brain-flood gates.  While I was driving today I started thinking about something I saw on the show "Secret Millionaire" (if you've never seen it I highly recommend it, but watch it with a full box of tissues).  This lady visited a shelter for homeless pregnant women and heard stories (so did I, the viewer) of families that abandoned their teens when they got pregnant or just didn't have room for them.  Then she went to an outreach center for homeless teens.  These kids have no family.  No one to turn to.  I don't doubt that some of these teens made horrible choices and continue to make horrible choices.  But now, they've been completely abandoned and what chance to do they have??  When times got hard their parents said, "Good luck with that".  That, coupled with things that I see and hear every day - people having kids they can't afford and can't take care of, people being too wrapped up in their own bad habits to pour out the love and devotion their kids need to be successful.
I say all that to say this: my family is 1 in a billion...at least.  I would need to borrow several hands to have enough fingers to count the number of people in my family I could turn to if I needed ANYTHING.  There isn't a mistake any of us can make that is big enough for my family to say, "Good luck with that".  I include my gigantic extended family in this too.  Cousins, second cousins, cousins removed, great aunts and uncles...I not only know ALL their names (and kids names!) but I'm connected to them.  I know them.  They are amazing people who have amazing parents and have turned into amazing parents.  And then there are my parents.  I can call them in the middle of the morning sobbing because I saw a dog get hit by a car and I need to be talked down from my hysteria.  I can call them for ANYTHING.  They may not always agree with me and my sisters, but they will ALWAYS be there for us.  I don't doubt that for a second.  For that I am eternally grateful.  It's for that reason that I know I'll be able to handle any challenge being a mom throws at me.  I've had an example that is extraordinarily rare and wonderful.  And I have an amazing husband who will be by my side through it all.  True unconditional love is unfortunately uncommon.  But I'm lucky enough to have seen it in action, and have a family who taught me about the One who loves us PERFECTLY and unconditionally.  And I thank God for that...and for them.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! ...

...or I guess I'm here for the first time since no one actually has a link to this blog yet.  Obviously based on the first 2 posts James and I had an unsuccessful IVF attempt back in Oct/Nov 2010.  Unless you've experienced infertility, it's hard to put into words the absolute heartbreak that comes with MONTHS of preparation and 3-4 daily injections (baby ones and intramuscular ones..OUCH!), being filled with 16 eggs at once (TMI?) seeing 3 beautiful embryos (who else SEES their babies before they are even implanted??) through a microscope (twice, 1st attempt and 2nd attempt).  Lying in bed for 3 days and then waiting out the rest of the two weeks on pins and needles...was that a symptom?  Surely I'm pregnant!  Just to go in for blood work (for probably the 200th time) and get the phone call several hours later..."I'm sorry, but it was negative".  I know there are worse things, more traumatic things, more devastating things.  But in our world at that moment it was the world's worst blow.  YOU FAILED.  I'm sorry, but no baby for you.  That room that should be a nursery?  No need, just keep it an office.  Those big plans you had to celebrate the next holiday with the joy of knowing a baby (or 2 or 3) would soon be here?  Yeah, go ahead and forget those.  That piece of your heart you know belongs to your future children?  Empty.  And I can't tell you how long it will be empty and unfulfilled...for now, just keep watching other people experience the joy of pregnancy and children and be happy for them.  But know that when you're alone you'll cry...sometimes for 2 minutes, sometimes for 20.  WHY can't we have that?
WELL GUESS WHAT?!?  IT'S FINALLY OUT TURN TO HAVE THAT!!!  Prayers have been answered, blessings have been showered upon us and the planning and dreaming have already begun.  I am 7 weeks pregnant!  7 weeks is still in the "danger zone" but I have to allow myself to be positive and hopeful and to be sure this is it.  I can't wait to see the heartbeat on May 5th.  I can't wait to report back all of the exciting information we get that day.  Until May 5th we are going to bask in the wonderfulness and believe whole-heartedly that it is finally our time.  Little blueberry, we worked HARD for you and I promise this is just the beginning.  You weren't just wanted, you were FOUGHT for.  You weren't just planned, you were designed.  You aren't just a blessing, you are a miracle.  We love you already.